Regret
by Starza
Summary: Sometimes, you're better off being friends... Tsuzuki x Hisoka
1. Regret, Hisoka's PoV

**Title:** Regret  
**Rating:** R  
**Pairing:** Tsuzuki/Hisoka  
**Genre:** Angst, romance?  
**Summary:** Sometimes, you're better off being friends...  
**Warnings:** Lots of angst, lime/mild sexual situation  
**Spoilers:** Up to the Kyoto Arc/volume 9  
**Disclaimer:** Yami no Matsuei and it's related characters belong to Matsushita Yoko.  
**Comments:** Another angsty situation with Tsuzuki and Hisoka. I think I have a love of putting Hisoka through the angst ring of doom.  
  
This really isn't a romance, per say, but the theme does revolve around romance and what sometimes a romance can do to people who might have been better off as friends.  
  
Thanks goes out to Katsue Fox for encouraging comments and RinoaRed for betaing.

_Should have, could have...  
_

_-_

  
  
It's funny the way life works. The way one simple push can make a whole line of dominos fall in neat succession. Being under pressure makes us do some of the weirdest things or we make the oddest decisions that we could never see ourselves making.  
  
I ended up making one of those decisions.  
  
It all started when everyone kept talking about how close I was becoming with my partner. A whisper here, a whisper there. It didn't really bother me in the beginning. I never paid much attention to the gossip that went around the office. Besides, my partner and I had a working relationship. I considered him a close friend, but beyond that, that was about it.  
  
Then the rumors started.  
  
The first was when my partner and I were out on a case job. We ended up staying up an extra night. Of course, being the glutton he is, absolutely insisted that we stay for the morning buffet. And me, not wanting to hear his whining any longer, agreed.  
  
When we came back in the office, close to eleven in the morning, Watari had to open his big mouth.  
  
_"You're back later than expected. Didn't get enough sleep last night, eh?"_  
  
Of course, he had to wink at my partner and elbow him in the stomach while nodding. I knew what he meant then, and I'll admit, it pissed me off. Of course, my partner was oblivious to this and didn't say anything, blinking stupidly at Watari and then telling him how good the buffet was.  
  
In the end, I let it go. I had other things on my mind, like writing the report and having to go to Tatsumi-san about how we went over the budget yet again. And I was going to be the one to get yelled at. But then again, it was my choice, I could let my partner go and tell Tatsumi-san, but I just didn't want him to.  
  
I guess... In my own way, I was protecting him from Tatsumi-san's wrath. He knew and he always smiled at me and said, 'thanks' when I came out, shaking my head.  
  
That was the start of events that would lead me down the path of regret.  
  
Rumors started to spread around the office. That my partner and I were "more than coworkers". I would've loved to say 'duh!' to each idiotic blabbermouth for stating the obvious. My partner and I were friends; we enjoyed each other's company. So what if I like talking and listening to someone? It didn't seem like a big deal to me.  
  
Then people started whispering, curious to "how far we had gone". When I first heard that, I spat out my coffee and demanded to know where they got such a bizarre idea from. Of course, when I asked, people giggled and it only reaffirmed their suspicions about us.  
  
It did bother me, but not to the point where I would care much. It was annoying, but in the end, it was better to ignore them. I rather not give them fuel to feed their fire.  
  
But the more time I spent with my partner, the more the rumors started to spread. The 'real' reasons why we would walk home together. The time my partner held my hand when we went into work one morning. The 'true' reason I let my partner get away with so much.  
  
It got to the point where it did bother me, so one day; I talked to my partner about it. I thought he would take my side and say that we had to confront Tatsumi-san about it to get people to shut up. I thought he would just laugh and tell me to ignore it.  
  
But his answer shocked me.  
  
_"Does it really bother you that much, Hisoka, for people to think we're in that kind of relationship?"_  
  
I didn't understand what he meant when he said that.  
  
_"Would it bother you if... we were involved like that?"_  
  
I knew what he meant when he said that. I couldn't give him an answer to that, because I really never thought about it. It did bother me, but it bothered me because what people were saying were lies. And lies tended to ruin reputations and relationships, in general. Did it bother me to think of my partner... as a romantic interest?  
  
I had no experience in romance. I've never experienced love before. I knew what people did when they were 'in love', but I never pictured myself in being in that situation. I never expected to make friends with anyone, really, now that I thought about it.  
  
I decided that honesty was best; I told him I didn't know. He turned his head from me, taking a deep breath, whispering something before he looked at me. I knew he was going to drop something heavy on me right then.  
  
_"Would... would you ever want to get involved with me like that?"_  
  
I really didn't know how to respond to that. I always thought of my partner as someone special to me, but... like that? And didn't people... fall in love with someone of the opposite sex?  
  
I asked probably the most stupid question at that moment.  
  
_"Can two guys get involved like that?"_  
  
My partner can be the mastermind at hiding what he really feels. Sometimes, not even my empathy can pick up on what he's feeling, even when I use my powers on purpose to read him. There were times in the past where I thought he was emotionless. However that was far from the truth.  
  
But, this time, I didn't need empathy to see the look in his eyes. He looked taken aback for a second, not expecting the question. But his eyes darkened a little bit before they were closed completely. He tried so hard not to shake, but I could see it. His breaths came out much more quickly than they normally do.  
  
I had to say something.  
  
_"Tsuzuki, I didn't mean..."_  
  
He interrupted me before I could make myself clear. _"No, it's okay. I knew you might say something like that and..."_  
  
It was my turn to cut him off. _"No, it was a stupid question. It... shouldn't matter what sex you are, as long as those feelings are there, right?"_  
  
That seemed to calm him down a little bit, as his shaking subsided and his eyes were now open. He smiled to me and nodded.  
  
I really didn't have time to truly think about any of the consequences of getting into a romantic relationship. If I said no, my partner would definitely be devastated and fall into a depression. And when my partner got depressed, it could become almost impossible to snap him out of it. And I definitely wouldn't be the one to be able to comfort him.  
  
But if I said yes, things would drastically change between us.  
  
I so wish I could've changed what I said at that moment in time now...  
  
_"I don't see... why not."_  
  
My partner looked so happy when I said those words. _"Really, Hisoka?"_  
  
_"Yes, really."_ I think that was one of those rare times I actually lied to him. I should have never lied to him.  
  
_"Do... do you want to..."_  
  
_"Yes."_ I cut him off before he could ask. I knew what he was going to ask before he said it. I think, in reality, I didn't want to hear the question.  
  
After I had said that, he looked.... positively enthusiastic. His smile was so big that I thought it hurt his face. His eyes seemed to have some sort of inner sparkle. And I could just feel his excitement so much that I ended up smiling too.  
  
I never expected things to go where they did.  
  
For the first few weeks, life was good. We tried and experimented with what we were comfortable with. We held hands more often. We hugged more often. We talked more often. We spent more time together.  
  
I thought that my fears, at the time, were unjustified.  
  
But then came times where he wanted... more.  
  
And it finally came up one night at my house. We were watching a movie together, really late at night. We were sitting close to each other, my partner's need for closeness and affection obvious.  
  
I wasn't paying much attention to the movie. I can't even remember what it was about; I even think I was falling asleep at the time.  
  
I turn my head just to tell my partner to turn off the movie, but I couldn't. Something warm and wet landed on my mouth and I realized that my partner wanted something more, yet again. I ended up freezing, I didn't know what to do and it just... didn't feel right.  
  
He stopped when he realized that my body had tensed up suddenly. _"Hisoka?"_  
  
I shook my head, trying to smile, but in reality, I wasn't too happy. _"I'm sorry. I just... wasn't expecting it."_  
  
Why did he have to give me the "wounded puppy" look? _"I didn't mean to. I mean... I just..."_  
  
I can't stand it when he does this. I hate when he feels bad and blames himself. I just wanted him to... be happy. I kept telling myself that over and over again as I pressed my mouth to his.  
  
It was wrong of me to lead him on like I did. It was wrong of me to do things just because I wanted to see him happy. He did these things because he wanted to express his love to me and thought it made me happy as well.  
  
But in reality, it didn't... I wasn't ready for this sort of intimacy.  
  
Soon after that, he just... wanted more. I didn't have any free time to myself. He started coming over all the time. We were together more often than I wanted us to be. I don't think I had a single moment at this time where I didn't see him.  
  
He even resorted as much as sleeping at my house when it got too late. I couldn't just send him home at one in the morning, so I would give him a blanket and let him sleep on the couch. I would just tell myself that it was my fault for letting him stay so late.  
  
But I couldn't send him away. He would be hurt. And I told myself that I never want to see the pain in those violet eyes as I saw in Kyoto ever again.  
  
I wasn't happy though. I was lying to my partner more and more often, letting him do things that I truly wasn't comfortable doing and I would hide it. Those were the times I hated myself the most.  
  
And then, came the night where I couldn't give him something and hide it any longer.  
  
It began on the couch. A simple innocent kiss turning into... something more. I can still remember the gentle way he ran his hands up and down my back, his tongue darting out to meet mine. I can still remember him using his other hand to unbutton my shirt and when his calloused hand rub against my flesh, his lips trailing down my cheek slowly, my name a whisper on his lips.  
  
I felt uncomfortable. It felt... good, but it didn't feel right either. I felt like he was demanding something from me that I wasn't willing to give him yet. I kept repeating to myself that this was for him, that if this would make him happy, that it was fine.  
  
I can still hear the sound of a zipper being undone and me shivering from both the sudden cold and my own fear. I can still feel the way his warm lips were suckling my neck as his hands slipped under my boxers. I can still remember when he touched me... there. I can still remember my yelp of surprise and the way my body tensed. I can still remember how good it felt and how I wanted him to keep going, even though my mind told me that I should stop right then and there.  
  
When I felt myself so close... He stopped. I felt angry at first, I was too caught up in the pleasure he was providing me to notice anything else, and to suddenly interrupt it...  
  
He looked at me as I tried to catch my breath. That was when... I knew that somehow he knew I wasn't into this.  
  
_"You're not ready for this."_  
  
That one simple statement upset me so much. It was like... he was treating me like a child again. And if there's one thing I despise, it's being treated like a child.  
  
I pulled his collar so I could look him directly in his eyes. _"Don't. Tell. Me. What. I'm. Ready. For."_ And to prove that, I forcefully placed my lips against his, determined to prove him wrong as I pulled his dress shirt apart, the buttons falling to the floor.  
  
I shouldn't have underestimated his strength as he pulled away and pinned my arms behind my back. He had caught me off guard. I tried to struggle, but he's much bigger and much stronger than me.  
  
_"You're not ready for this because it doesn't mean anything to you, does it?"_  
  
I don't know how he had caught on to that, but what he said was so on the mark, I simply froze. He nodded, having his answer, and let my arms go, knowing that I wasn't going to try a stunt like that again.  
  
What he said next, I will carry with for the rest of my life. The way his eyes bore into my soul. The frown that formed on his lips. The way his brow wrinkled upwards. The look of disappointment in his eyes...  
  
_"You could've said, 'no', Hisoka. That would've been better than forcing yourself for my sake..."_  
  
And he got up and left. He didn't use the front door either, he just... vanished in front of me. I knew he teleported out. I realized just then that all those times he could've gone home by just teleporting and he didn't. All because he wanted to spend time with me.  
  
I have never hated myself so much as I did that night. To make things worse, I still felt my body wanting release and no matter how hard I ignored it as I tried to force myself to sleep, that feeling wouldn't leave. I ended up going to the bathroom to relievemyself before I crawled back into bed, feeling like the lowest person ever.  
  
The next day at work... My partner told me that perhaps we rushed things a bit too much and that we should go back to being friends for the time being. I knew he was going to say more, but I nodded my head all too quickly, not being able to look at him straight in his eyes. I never will know what he was going to say, but he left it at that.  
  
We did go back to being friends, but it was... tarnished. I couldn't look at him without feeling extremely guilty. I couldn't touch him without feeling dirty or guilty for wanting him to touch me as he did before.  
  
As for him, I don't think he could do that again without guilt tripping himself. He would reach out to me and then suddenly pull away. He would look at me when we talked, but then away suddenly for a fraction of a second before looking back.  
  
We still talked, but it wasn't like how it was before.  
  
And now, now that I realize that I do love him... I don't think we can ever be like we were before. And he would still want so much from me… what if one day I can't give him what he wants?  
  
I think I understand now what Tatsumi-san had gone through.  
  
I wish we were close like we were before, but we're not. I wish I had been more honest with Tsu... him, but I wasn't. I wish I had never let it get as far as it did, but I didn't stop it.  
  
And now, I'll have to live with that regret... Perhaps forever. 


	2. Regret, Tsuzuki's PoV

**Author's notes:** I didn't really expect to write another part to this, since Regret stands out so well on it's own. But I got it in my mind to write four parts to the story on Regret's Timeline. Currently, I don't plan to write part three and four due to a total lack of interest in Yami no Matsuei and an increase interest in FullMetal Alchemist. However, I may come back and write a part for Tatsumi and Watari.

Well, hope you enjoy it! I can't believe it's been nearly a year since I wrote anything YnM related…

* * *

Life can be so strange sometimes. At one time, you feel like nothing could be better; you feel like you're walking on air, you feel more 'alive' than you've ever been in your entire existence and there's nothing that could bring you down. But you become so oblivious to everything around you, your happiness becomes your own blindness. And somehow, when that blindness goes away, things that you've never seen become so crystal clear, that you want to hit yourself and say, 'Why oh why didn't I see this before?' That happiness that you once had is now full of nothing but sadness and regret. 

That pretty much sums up what happened to me.

I can trail it all back to the day Tatsumi-san told me that I would be receiving another partner. At that time, I didn't realize that one partner would change my life or how I perceived things.

My partner had become fairly close to me. I mean, we did go to work everyday and all, but we did share a friendship outside of work. We talked about our problems... well, safe to say, I talked about my problems while he listened and would answer honestly. See, he never liked to talk about his problems to anyone, but there were times he did and I would listen with as much interest as he did me.

We sometimes treated one another to dinner... Wait, most of the time, he would treat me to dinner, since I was almost always out of money at the end of the week. I offered to cook him dinner a couple of times, but he declined every time. Strange...

I think I'm getting off track again. Well, the basic idea is that my partner and I were pretty close to one another.

Of course, when they see people change, they think something is there when nothing is there. That sort of thing.

Rumors started to fly around the office. Some of the girls at the office would comment on how 'cute' me and my partner looked together. I would grin and nod my head. Perhaps I'm partly to blame too, because what people said about my partner and me never really bothered me.

Maybe it was because, deep down inside, I wanted what people said to be true...

I really liked my partner, but I never wanted to take a step over that 'line' between us. Once you step over that line, you can't step back. And I didn't want to admit that I felt something beyond friendship for my partner. I liked him and that was enough for me. Besides, I didn't want to lose the one most important thing in my life, you know?

Well, I guess the rumors finally got to my partner as one day, he came up to me and told me that people were saying things about us that weren't true, that we weren't a couple or anything like that. I guess his blunt and to-the-point statements really affected me deeply that day as I found myself speaking before I even thought about it.

_"Does it really bother you that much, Hisoka, for people to think we're in that kind of relationship?"_

I guess he didn't understand what I was implying. I didn't know what I was implying. So I decided to take the direct approach.

_"Would it bother you if... we were involved like that?"_

In that moment, I had to come to accept something of myself that I didn't want to admit up until now: I cared a lot more for my partner than a simple friendship. All this time, those jokes and rumors didn't affect me because secretly, I wanted them to be true.

Did I love him? Maybe I did. But that concept was so foreign and so frightening, that I kept telling myself, 'it's not true'. I honestly would never know for sure unless I explored my feelings. But more importantly, I wanted him to feel the same way.

I was so caught up in my own emotional revelations that I almost missed hearing his answer.

_"I don't know..."_

This wasn't turning out as I thought I would or maybe he was misunderstanding me.

_"Courage,"_ I whispered under my breath before turning back to him and asking, _"Would... would you ever want to get involved with me like that?"_

His answer nearly shattered me.

_"Can two guys get involved like that?"_

At the time, I should've realized that it was a question asked out of ignorance. I knew something about his past, some things that he probably doesn't think I know. I kept forgetting that my partner, while he can show that he's more adult than anyone I know, he could still be a child or be completely clueless when it comes to certain issues.

I guess my poker face must've slipped then because he immediately spoke up after his answer. _"Tsuzuki, I didn't mean..."_

I interrupted him before he could apologize, trying to slip back into old habits and reassure him along with myself. _"No, it's okay. I knew you might say something like that and..."_

He cut my nonsense babble off. _"No, it was a stupid question. It... shouldn't matter what sex you are, as long as those feelings are there, right?"_

I let the breath I was holding slip out. I realized that only a moment ago, I was shaking, like I was about to have a nervous breakdown. Honestly, I wouldn't have been too surprised if that had happened if our conversation didn't continue; a simple stupid question shouldn't be affecting me so much.

But it really did. Perhaps... I really did love him.

I just sat there and continued to smile, waiting nervously for his answer. At that time, I needed to know an answer.

I wish I had given him time...

_"I don't see... why not."_

Perhaps my feelings were pushing onto him. Maybe I'm partly to blame for him making such a hasty choice. Or maybe I should've told him that I was willing to give him time to think about it.

But, I was just so happy. It probably... no, definitely showed when I said, _"Really, Hisoka?"_ I had to know this wasn't a dream.

_"Yes, really."_

This isn't a dream... _"Do... do you want to..."_

_"Yes."_

To sum it up in a stupid expression, I was on top of the world when he said that. I was too happy to think about what he may be feeling or wasn't it strange that he came to an answer so quickly, a bit too quickly.

No, all of that was far from my mind and I was in my own little make-believe world, blocking out any doubt my partner may feel the same towards me as I feel towards him. When I saw him smile back at me, I thought I was going to die of shock, my partner rarely smiled at anything. To think that he was smiling for me...

I should've saw that he wasn't smiling for me, but his smile was a reflection of my own emotions.

For the first few weeks, life was good. We spent more time together after the workdays. We spent Sundays together. We held each other's hand. Heck, I even threw in a few hugs and I didn't get knocked senseless for it!

And then I screwed it all up.

That one Sunday night. I came over my partner's house, since he promised he would watch a movie with me that I've been dying to see. We were sitting close together. The movie played on, but I wasn't paying much attention to it.

I was watching something more interesting, specifically, the person sitting next to me. He was yawning, clearly tired, or maybe bored, his eyelids half closed, as he would fall asleep any minute.

For some reason, I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. I kept telling myself to turn back to the TV and watch the movie, but I just... couldn't. I mean, I could, as my muscles weren't sore and my neck was perfectly fine that night, but my body refused to cooperate with me. My eyes were glued to the person next to me, drinking in every small detail; his half-opened green eyes, the way his nose crinkled up in it's own cute way, the way he pouted his lips...

And right when he turned his head towards me, probably to comment on the movie, I was leaning forward and kissing him. Well, I was kissing him, my partner just... tensed and froze up. I pulled away shortly after, feeling confused. _"Hisoka?"_

I think this was my 'Duh, Tsuzuki!' moment. I shouldn't really have been confused at all. First off, he was not expecting what I did. Second, I crossed over another line without thinking. And finally, I didn't think about what this sort of intimacy would have on my partner.

I really wish I had thought about that and realized that his reply came a bit too fast. _"I'm sorry. I just... wasn't expecting it."_

Instead of thinking rational thoughts like, 'Oh, he wasn't expecting it, that's why he looks unnerved', my thought was instead, 'Oh, he didn't like it, so he probably doesn't feel the same way.' Really, I can be a total idiot sometimes...

I tried to hide my feelings; all too well knowing it was impossible to begin with. _"I didn't mean to. I mean... I just..."_ Of course, all that had to come out was useless babbling.

I was telling myself that I should probably leave and apologize in the morning, but I couldn't. Because before I could even move or say anything else, his mouth was pressed to mine.

That should've been another 'Hey, Tsuzuki, something is **wrong**!' sign. But at the time, I was just too damn happy to even think coherently. Just thinking that my partner feels the same towards me totally shut down my brain and put me in 'Cloud Nine' mode.

I wanted to spend all my time with him. In fact, I did. I came over more frequently after that. I would even purposely stay at his house till very late at night in hopes I could just stay the night.

I hugged him more than I did before. I would cuddle with him every chance I got. I did kiss him again, but they were usually quick kisses and most of the time, on the head or cheek.

And he never protested. Not once. I must've spent nearly all my free time with him. And he seemed rather calm; even though there were obvious things I did, like not cleaning the dishes in the sink. Or the time I accidentally left his book outside and it rained that night. The next morning, he'd find the book ruined, and (my partner) got stuck with a replacement bill. Or the time I left the iron on and burning one of his favorite shirts.

He never called me an idiot or got angry.

That should've been another sign, but of course, I chose the path of ignorance.

Well, until that night...

I don't know how it started. We were talking about... well, whatever it was, it couldn't have been important. But I can remember everything crystal clear after that. I can remember kissing him; it was supposed to be a simple, stupid kiss like I gave him every other night.

However, that night... I really wasn't thinking. Well, it was hard to think when the person you love is kissing you back, making soft cute gasping sounds. The lights in my head should've went off, especially I found my hands unbuttoning his shirt, my hands caressing the soft flesh underneath, his name a ghost of a whisper on my lips. He didn't complain at all, in fact, he was encouraging me to go on!

Even with all of that, though, something wasn't right. My partner was responding to what I was doing to him, sure, but... I couldn't shake the feeling. I just shrugged it off and continued to encourage him again.

It wasn't until my hands went for the zipper of his pants that the feeling started truly bothering me. He tensed up at first when I touched him, and really, at that point, I expected him to at least say something, but he said nothing.

And it seemed everything just went 'ping' into place.

There was no way that my partner would just suddenly let me do these things to him without saying something.

Before we got together, my partner wouldn't hesitate to say something, shove me away, or hit me upside the head if I did something that he wasn't comfortable with. Yet, here we were on the couch, making out, and he didn't even ask me what the hell I was doing or shoving me away or just about anything but responding back.

It wasn't even the fact that we were just about to have sex. The hugs, the kisses, the late night visits. He never said anything. In fact, he neither yelled at me anymore nor scolded me for my usual stupid antics. Even before all of this, he would still call me an idiot or nag me or at the very least, sigh and shake his head, murmuring his frustrations.

It was like he was just doing all of this for my sake, and keeping his thoughts to himself.

Hammer? Meet Mister Nail. Hit him on the head.

The lust cloud that had made its way over to my head blew away. I pulled my hands away, feeling like a real fool. _"You're not ready for this."_

Well, that comment really pissed off my partner, because the next second, I was staring directly into smoldering green eyes. _"Don't. Tell. Me. What. I'm. Ready. For."_ And to prove that statement, he pressed his lips up to mine, ripping my dress-shirt in the process.

I had to put an end to this. I pulled away from him and pinned both of his arms behind his back. He tried to struggle back, and looked at me. I almost expected him to say, 'Why?' with the way he was looking at me, but I gave him no opportunity to say anything.

My dream was coming to an end...

_"You're not ready for this because it doesn't mean anything to you, does it?"_

I wanted him to tell me I was wrong. I wanted him to tell me that he cared about me and that I was being an idiot, as always. I wanted him to slap me hard and yell at me, even!

But he said nothing. And that was all the answer I needed. I let him go, knowing full well he wasn't going to try what he did before again.

I looked at him again, this time, not even attempting to hide my feelings.

_"You could've said, 'no', Hisoka. That would've been better than forcing yourself for my sake..."_

I couldn't bear looking at him anymore, so I just... teleported out. I just wanted to be out of there, away from everything, away from him, thinking I must've been the world's biggest idiot for not seeing what was clearly laid out for me.

I should've never let these events happen the way they did.

I don't think I got a wink of sleep that night.

I was afraid into going in work the very next day, but I knew I had to say something to him, I just couldn't avoid him forever or break off my partnership with him. I'd never want to hurt my partner...

So I just told him that we (More like I) rushed things and we were better off being friends. Better off locking my feelings tightly away. Better off forgetting about what feelings I could or did have for him...

I wanted to tell him that maybe, one day, we could try this again, but he agreed so fast and readily... No, I wouldn't be able to handle it if this incident were to repeat.

Like I said before, once you step over a certain line, things never will be the same again. And they weren't between my partner and myself. There were times I just wanted to touch him, but I can't, because I'll remember those emotions I had for him and… I just can't. I can't even look at him for long periods of time anymore.

As for him, he never looks me straight in the eyes anymore. He would sometimes reach over to touch my hand, but just before he could, he'd pull his hands back, like touching me would burn. Maybe it would...

We still talk, but it isn't like how it was before.

And now, at one time, I did love him, but those feelings are locked away tight, forever. Even if I want to open the door to those feelings, there's no guarantee that he would do things because he feels comfortable or wants to do them.

I guess I'm starting to realize what I've put people through.

I wish we were close like we were before. I wish I had told His... him to take his time with his decision. I wish I didn't put so much pressure on him.

And now, I'll have to live with that regret... Perhaps forever.


End file.
